The person in that role essentially has "nice guy" control. The person in that role feels overwhelmed at times. He suddenly blows up - usually about something minor - laundry, who didn't take out the trash - or acts out - go out a spends a lot of money, goes on a drinking binge, has an affair. He gets tired of being looked down on because the rescuer is basically saying, "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't make it." Everyone once in a while the victim gets fed up and Bam, moves to the persecutor role.He feels that problems are falling down on his head. He feels he deserves it, look, after all, he says to himself, at what I've been putting up with. Like the rescuer, the victim in this role blows up and gets angry usually about something small, or acts out. The rescuer hears this and moves to the victim position.They psychologically cut a deal: The rescuer says that I will agree to be big, strong, good and nice; the victim says I will agree to be overwhelmed and unable to manage. While everyone gets to move among all the roles, often one will fit more comfortably in one role more than another.This has to do with personality, upbringing, and learned ways of coping.Whereas the rescuer controls by being good and nice, and persecutor is angry, critical, and blaming.This is the abuser, and obviously some couples start with this persecutor - victim relationship, playing out childhood models and roles.(I know, I hate myself, etc.) when Carrie has to decide between Mr. OK, so she actually cheats on Aidan, but there are other ways to go. Not that he needs to put a ring on it, but if you're not exclusive with either of them, go ahead and keep dating them both. Ask yourself if one guy makes you feel more like a great, interesting, funny and pretty lady. In retrospect, how do you feel about your decision?
The persecutor as a type is the evil twin of the rescuer.
Granted, some people don't think sexual compatibility is everything, but I am of the opinion that it means a heck of a lot.
Have someone threaten to rip you in half and see what each guy does.
Wanting, unlike following shoulds and rules, is a feeling, and he is often not aware of what he is feeling. He also has a hard time with anger and conflict (which is why he became good in the first place) and tends to stuff anger down until he gets fed up and begins to gag on it.
Then he blows up, and because he is so uncomfortable with and it creates so much drama, he feels like his worst dream has come true.